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Thread: Ex partner taken out restraining orders then asks for my help, then takes out another

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  1. #1
    darrenmacer's Avatar

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    Default Ex partner taken out restraining orders then asks for my help, then takes out another

    Hi, I hope someone can advise me. I don't know where else to turn.
    My ex partner took out a restraining order against me last year, after she decided to stop talking to me. We have been split up for longer than that, but she still spoke to me and we were seeing each other again. I was still helping with her kids and she was being abused by her new partner. There have been a few times over the last 2 or so years when she has taken restraining orders out against me at random. No violence, no given reason for her to do so. Just when she felt like she didn't want to talk to me. I was only helping. So my question is, how long does a harassment order last? It was handed to me by police, who even said "yes, it's another one. We're sorry, maybe she's just not worth your time anymore". That was a little over a year ago. I've been told she needs help and to contact her (by family members), but I don't know what will happen if she then decides she doesn't want my help...
    I don't want to involve the police as she has just had a baby (which I'll never know for sure isn't mine). The relationship lasted about 5 years and I brought up her 3 young children as my own, they called me dad etc. We were engaged, lived together, I was going to adopt the kids and everything.
    We split a couple of times during the relationship, but always got back together.
    The last time we split, she started seeing a guy who was (and still is) an alcoholic and drug abuser (ketamine, mdma, cocaine, extacy etc), getting her addicted to cocaine and mdma and drinking heavily daily, and she would frequently call me because he was being violent towards her and scaring the children. He broke my cheekbone and jaw with no provocation whatsoever. She still keeps going back to him (seemingly switching between me and him...) and I genuinely fear for her safety. I've had several of her friends and family members tell me I need to get in contact with her.
    I can't find the order the police gave me as it was so long ago, so I don't know what to do. Please please help. Thank you.

  2. #2
    Captain Haddock's Avatar

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    Default Re: Ex partner taken out restraining orders then asks for my help, then takes out ano

    I think you've answered your own questions. However, my advice to you is to stay away from that woman, no matter how much you care/feel for her. She is clearly unstable and, from what I can infer, is dragging you down.

    No-one likes to see people they care for falling into a vortex like this woman is but if I were you I'd take these restraining orders as a Godsend, a chance to break away, get your head clear and move on with your life.

  3. #3
    des8's Avatar

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    Default Re: Ex partner taken out restraining orders then asks for my help, then takes out ano

    I don't understand why her "friends and family" say you need to contact her..... why don't they wade in to help?

    I'd have more concern for the children,

  4. #4
    darrenmacer's Avatar

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    Default Re: Ex partner taken out restraining orders then asks for my help, then takes out ano

    They have tried. And I've been worriying about the children ever since

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