Girlfriend is leaving me after we bought a house together 5 months ago....

[TunX]

Hi all,

A few weeks ago my girlfriend told me she is leaving me, she's no longer in love with me, complete with the usual "It's not you, it's me" BS...

Anyway, things have turned pretty sour since then since I found out another man is involved and I'm looking for some advice.

We each own the house 50/50 and completed on the sale approx 6 months ago, our deposit was from joint savings of around 10k. I earn enough so that I could afford the mortgage on my own along with all other living costs, however she definitely does not. I want to keep the house and really do not want to sell if possible.

She is now being (what I feel is) very difficult (correct me if I'm wrong).

She wants to go traveling around the world soon so is planning on living here for another 6 months or so - which is fine. I can deal with that.

But she is also saying that she won't let me buy her out as she wants to keep her part of the asset and when I asked her how she plans on paying her half of the Mortgage then, she tells me she will 'rent her room out' and that will be her half. Can she do this?! Particularly against my will.

I am 28, have a decent job, pets etc and certainly do not want to have to share my own house with someone because she wants to go off traveling and keep her asset. Besides, I would be paying for maintenance, upkeep, having to act as a 'live in landlord' etc. which I do not want to do at all.

I have said if she won't let me buy her out, then I want to sell - because I don't want to be tied to her in any way after the split. She then states that she will not sell the house?!

So she is effectively saying I cannot buy her out, she won't let me sell and that she will rent her room out to pay her half of the mortgage?! Effectively trapping me for life in a situation I do not want to be in!

What can I do?!

[Snoopy1948]

Re: Girlfriend is leaving me after we bought a house together 5 months ago....

Seems that she wants everything her own way but essentially she needs your continued cooperation ( for an undetermined period of time it seems ) to allow this asset to grow, albeit on her terms. You have some six months to rationalise this dilemma with her and she is going to need your total cooperation to make this work, particularly if she sets off on her travels. I am looking forward to the other responses on here as I cannot see a legal route in resolution here!

[meellis]

Re: Girlfriend is leaving me after we bought a house together 5 months ago....

One quick suggestion is to look into the terms of the existing mortgage there are quite a few that will not allow lodgers or sub-letting so it might make it difficult to rent a room.

[Diana M]

Re: Girlfriend is leaving me after we bought a house together 5 months ago....

We each own the house 50/50 and completed on the sale approx 6 months ago, our deposit was from joint savings of around 10k. I earn enough so that I could afford the mortgage on my own along with all other living costs, however she definitely does not. I want to keep the house and really do not want to sell if possible.

. . . . But she is also saying that she won't let me buy her out as she wants to keep her part of the asset and when I asked her how she plans on paying her half of the Mortgage then, she tells me she will 'rent her room out' and that will be her half. Can she do this?! Particularly against my will.

I have said if she won't let me buy her out, then I want to sell - because I don't want to be tied to her in any way after the split. She then states that she will not sell the house?!

So she is effectively saying I cannot buy her out, she won't let me sell

I'm afraid she can say that, based on the fact that you both own the asset (jointly) and the mortgage is in joint names which makes you both jointly and severally liable for paying it.

Even if she never paid another bean towards the loan you would still be liable for the whole lot (and so would she).

However, you say you own the house 50/50. Does that mean you set up a Tenants in Common arrangement registered at Land Registry when you purchased it? This is when each 'owner' has a defined percentage of a property such as 50/50. Otherwise you both own the whole property together.

I'm probably telling you this a bit late but here's an explanation of how it works >

http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/n...ts-common.html

I can see no reason why she can't rent out her room. The mortgage Ts & Cs may restrict the right to rent out the whole house (you will have a residential mortgage not a Buy To Let loan), but I'd be surprised if there was anything in the terms which prevents renting out one room especially when the Government Rent-a-Room scheme actively promotes it. It's tax efficient too (£7,500 pa tax relief).

https://www.gov.uk/government/public...-a-room-relief

Why not turn the tables and say you will be renting out her room. If you choose the renter/lodger you might feel more comfortable having them in the property on your terms not your girlfriend's terms. And you'll get the benefit of the tax relief too

Di

[Snoopy1948]

Re: Girlfriend is leaving me after we bought a house together 5 months ago....

I can well understand this chap's frustration .... whatever he does to maintain current title, he will probably end up doing all the work and administration for the this errant partner just so she can retain her share of the equity. And if the partner does do all the admin to maintain a 'rent a room' tenancy there, what guarantees are there that she will maintain that duty or indeed pay if towards the mortgage. From what he has said, her powers of obligation and commitment have gone out of the window. And in my experience, most people don't declare the tenancy to the lender. That can of course have a knock on effect on building and contents insurance unless fully declared.

I am interested to know that if this has been set up as a tenancy in common in defined shares, can either party sell their share without the agreement of the other? And if this is a joint tenancy, is there any mileage in this chap getting the joint tenancy severed to assist in the breakdown of the relationship?

[des8]

Re: Girlfriend is leaving me after we bought a house together 5 months ago....

If the OP and Ex cannot reach an agreement, couldn't OP make application under Sec 14 of the Trusts of Land and Appointment of trustees Act 1996 for an order to sell?
Assuming the order is granted, the OP could then make an offer to purchase.
Obviously there is a risk of a higher offer from a third party, and problems with having to obtain a new mortgage etc, but this may be an alternative to having a lodger and makes the break cleaner?

[Diana M]

Re: Girlfriend is leaving me after we bought a house together 5 months ago....

My response was inspired by the thread title "Girlfriend is leaving me" not "Girlfriend has left me".

The poster will have legal options when it comes to the crunch. At the moment he's not said whether the mortgage payments from her have stopped. It seems she may still be living there while contemplating a trip round the world.

The suggestion of him taking in a lodger (when she goes) who would pay him the rent direct so he could pay the money direct to the mortgage lender, was based on him building a strong case for arguing that he's paid all of the mortgage so may have a bit more legal entitlement to the property investment than her.

He says he doesn't want to sell it so perhaps he has time on his side to manoeuvre himself into a better position.

His girlfriend has said she won't let him buy her out. Is that her final word on the subject or will it change by the time she gets back from her travels?

I was looking at it from a psychological rather than legal perspective. I do that sometimes

Di

[des8]

Re: Girlfriend is leaving me after we bought a house together 5 months ago....

thanks Diana, I wasn't criticising,honest!
I wasn't doing an OL (lol) but was tentatively suggesting another possible solution.
I don't even know if it's possible, hence I put everything in the form of a question.

[Diana M]

Re: Girlfriend is leaving me after we bought a house together 5 months ago....

thanks Diana, I wasn't criticising,honest!
I wasn't doing an OL (lol) but was tentatively suggesting another possible solution.
I don't even know if it's possible, hence I put everything in the form of a question.

I didn't think you were being critical for one minute.

I was only explaining that my original answer was based on the fact that my daughter and her bloke were always "leaving" each other but are now finally getting married

It would have been impertinent of me to suggest that the OP's problem may only be a temporary blip.

Sometimes if you leave a client alone for a bit they realize that they don't need you after all. Firing off court papers can take you to the point of no return when pride kicks in. Hence my softly softly approach to this issue.

Your suggestions are good.

Di

[meellis]

Re: Girlfriend is leaving me after we bought a house together 5 months ago....

A psychological point was the point I was trying to make, people and it seems the government fell it is easy and straight forward to renting a room but from my profession I can see it isn't always straightforward. I am a gas engineer and the amount of people who don't realise that when you have lodgers you have to have landlord safety checks done if you have gas appliances. It would make me wonder I many other grey areas there would be hat you would only find out about when it came to the crunch. The more armoury you have against the sub-letting of rooms the easier to discuss a remedy.

[Sparkie1723]

Re: Girlfriend is leaving me after we bought a house together 5 months ago....

Dumbo Sparkie here.........who decides which is her and his room if the house is owned 50/50 then each can say I own 50% of that room and 50% of that room and it can't be let out unless both agree..................but I look at things differently than the law and anyone else Its a laugh around here some years ago a couple split up and the husband cut the Dining Room table in half and gave his wife half an 3 of the chairs........no-one could believe that ..........laughed their heads off..............but then I feel sorry for the hassle this guy is going through and possibly a lot more to come.
Sparkie

[charitynjw]

Re: Girlfriend is leaving me after we bought a house together 5 months ago....

A psychological point was the point I was trying to make, people and it seems the government fell it is easy and straight forward to renting a room but from my profession I can see it isn't always straightforward. I am a gas engineer and the amount of people who don't realise that when you have lodgers you have to have landlord safety checks done if you have gas appliances. .

I agree, meellis, & so does the HSE.

http://www.hse.gov.uk/gas/landlords/safetycheckswho.htm

I have a lodger who pays me rent

You are classed as a landlord, so you need to arrange an annual gas safety check.

[Snoopy1948]

Re: Girlfriend is leaving me after we bought a house together 5 months ago....

You know something? I just love this forum and the ever widening span of opinion that these threads attract ... in this case, from splitting a dining table in half to possibly kissing and making up because were acting like a couple of donuts ( or at least she is ! ).

Every problem has a human framework and it's great when that's identified. I've worked in a civil enforcement job where 'fear' always was supposed to play a major part in resolution but in fact put that to one side, listen you the other party in detail, agree that a line of communication is best and you are instantly halfway there.

Well, it worked for me, anyway .....

[Joanna C]

Re: Girlfriend is leaving me after we bought a house together 5 months ago....

Since 1 Feb 2016 all landlords (including resident landlords) in England need to ensure their tenants have the “Right to rent” in England. Simplest way to comply is to keep a copy of your tenant’s passport with your paperwork and record the date you took the copy. This is important because if you don't check then the penalty is a fine up to £3,000.
If the agreement to rent the room runs from week to week you must also give your lodger a rent book regardless of how the rent payment is made.