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Support for separating families
Ministry
of Justice
Sorting out the practicalities can feel overwhelming when you’re separated, splitting up or divorcing - especially if you have children.
You and your family can get support to help you through separation or divorce, eg:
Family mediation
In family mediation an independent, professionally trained mediator helps you and your ex-partner to agree on issues, eg:
The mediator helps you and your ex-partner come to an agreement without taking sides.
Many people find mediation less stressful and cheaper than going to court. If you want to go to court, the judge will ask you to try mediation first.
You don’t pay for mediation if you qualify for legal aid. You may also be able to get legal aid if you need to go to court and mediation isn’t appropriate, eg if there’s been domestic abuse. Check if you can get legal aid.
Find a local mediator.
Make a plan
You can make a Parenting Plan to work out arrangements for your children. It can help you and your ex-partner to put the interests of your children first and set out shared commitments to them - even if you’re in dispute about other things.
Start a Parenting Plan online to make decisions about your children’s care, eg:
Read more about using a Parenting Plan.
You can also download the Parenting Plan (PDF, 990KB).
Learn how to manage conflict
The Separated Parents Information Programme is a course to help parents put their children first while they’re separating.
It can help you and your ex-partner learn how to manage conflict and difficulties. The course is run over 1 or 2 sessions. You don’t attend the same session as your ex-partner.
Sometimes there’s no fee - ask your local course provider if you have to pay to attend.
Download the directory of providers to find a local course (PDF 2.6MB)
Read more about the Separated Parents Information Programme.
Ministry
of Justice
Sorting out the practicalities can feel overwhelming when you’re separated, splitting up or divorcing - especially if you have children.
You and your family can get support to help you through separation or divorce, eg:
- family mediation
- help with planning (online Parenting Plan)
- training to manage conflict (Separated Parents Information Programme)
Family mediation
In family mediation an independent, professionally trained mediator helps you and your ex-partner to agree on issues, eg:
- arrangements for looking after your children (sometimes called ‘custody’, ‘residence’ or ‘contact’)
- child maintenance payments
- money and property, eg what to do with your house, savings, pension and debts
The mediator helps you and your ex-partner come to an agreement without taking sides.
Many people find mediation less stressful and cheaper than going to court. If you want to go to court, the judge will ask you to try mediation first.
You don’t pay for mediation if you qualify for legal aid. You may also be able to get legal aid if you need to go to court and mediation isn’t appropriate, eg if there’s been domestic abuse. Check if you can get legal aid.
Find a local mediator.
Make a plan
You can make a Parenting Plan to work out arrangements for your children. It can help you and your ex-partner to put the interests of your children first and set out shared commitments to them - even if you’re in dispute about other things.
Start a Parenting Plan online to make decisions about your children’s care, eg:
- living arrangements
- communication
- money
- religion
- education
- health care
- emotional wellbeing
Read more about using a Parenting Plan.
You can also download the Parenting Plan (PDF, 990KB).
Learn how to manage conflict
The Separated Parents Information Programme is a course to help parents put their children first while they’re separating.
It can help you and your ex-partner learn how to manage conflict and difficulties. The course is run over 1 or 2 sessions. You don’t attend the same session as your ex-partner.
Sometimes there’s no fee - ask your local course provider if you have to pay to attend.
Download the directory of providers to find a local course (PDF 2.6MB)
Read more about the Separated Parents Information Programme.
