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ex has long standing mental health issues undiagnosed, no one is listening

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  • #16
    Re: ex has long standing mental health issues undiagnosed, no one is listening

    Originally posted by dadworriedsick View Post
    there has only been the directions hearing, cafcass will be at the next court date. will the advocate be, or can I argue for them to be or include, a solicitor. someone on his side with legal speciality in family law could only be a good thing
    I don't think you would be perceived to be impartial in the circumstances. Someone suitably qualified will, or should, be appointed to represent the interests of each child.

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: ex has long standing mental health issues undiagnosed, no one is listening

      also, thank you all. I am overwhelmed by the response I have received tonight. I've had very little support through this so far and so many worries. I can't quite believe this is happening and i'm extremely grateful.

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: ex has long standing mental health issues undiagnosed, no one is listening

        sorry what I meant is do I ask for this to happen or will it be automatic in the court process

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: ex has long standing mental health issues undiagnosed, no one is listening

          I suppose what im also asking is fulfilling the court order is distressing my son. how can I show that he clearly does not want to be with her. how can I do it quickly. should I record the handovers. should I get someone the court would consider impartial to come with me and who might that be?

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: ex has long standing mental health issues undiagnosed, no one is listening

            should I get a welfare check using the police done whilst he is in her care or would that be looked at unfavourably by the court. should I ask the health visitor in that area to look in or not.

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: ex has long standing mental health issues undiagnosed, no one is listening

              Originally posted by dadworriedsick View Post
              sorry what I meant is do I ask for this to happen or will it be automatic in the court process
              I believe it will be automatic - the courts should appoint one through CAFCASS

              The child's welfare is the court's paramount consideration when looking at questions of contact and residence. The court has a duty to consider certain welfare issues such as:
              • the wishes and feelings of the child concerned
              • their physical, emotional and educational needs
              • the likely effect of any change in the child’s circumstances
              • the child’s age, sex, background and characteristics
              • any harm or risk of harm
              • the capability of both parents to meet the child’s needs
              - http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-sepa...contact-orders
              Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

              It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

              recte agens confido

              ~~~~~

              Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

              I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
              But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

              Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: ex has long standing mental health issues undiagnosed, no one is listening

                Originally posted by dadworriedsick View Post
                I suppose what im also asking is fulfilling the court order is distressing my son. how can I show that he clearly does not want to be with her. how can I do it quickly. should I record the handovers. should I get someone the court would consider impartial to come with me and who might that be?
                Does his personality change after a visit??
                Is he withdrawn??
                Has he got any injuries??

                Take notes. Keep a record that can be handed to the court at your next hearing.

                As for the handover ... my advice would be to get it done with as little drama as possible Explain to your son (in a way he will understand) that he is going to stay with his mum for ???? hours/days and that you will be there to pick him up at a certain time/date. If you felt a need, you could get an impartial observer to attend the handovers/collection, but it might be distressing for your son if a stranger is there

                K x
                Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

                It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

                recte agens confido

                ~~~~~

                Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
                But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

                Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: ex has long standing mental health issues undiagnosed, no one is listening

                  Please for the sake of all of you follow the courts instructions continue caring for the Mother and the children something which comes across in your post.
                  Its a long process to sort this and get the help you all need so be patient.LB Will help where possible but make sure the Social workers and CAFFCASS do their job remember Children come first and they have a Mother and you I hope she gets help and this is sorted soon.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: ex has long standing mental health issues undiagnosed, no one is listening

                    thank you. it worries me that the other boy hasn't been joined to the process and that the judge said i'd have to make a separate application to the court. I have no access to this boy at the moment. do I need to make an application to join him to the proceedings or will he be automatically brought in at the next hearing?

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: ex has long standing mental health issues undiagnosed, no one is listening

                      Originally posted by dadworriedsick View Post
                      thank you. it worries me that the other boy hasn't been joined to the process and that the judge said i'd have to make a separate application to the court. I have no access to this boy at the moment. do I need to make an application to join him to the proceedings or will he be automatically brought in at the next hearing?
                      If you are worried about him, it might be a good idea to mention it ... you have been a part of the lad's life for a long time (and he is your son's brother) so it is a good idea to make sure he is involved in any decisions etc... :tinysmile_grin_t:

                      K x
                      Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

                      It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

                      recte agens confido

                      ~~~~~

                      Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                      I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
                      But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

                      Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: ex has long standing mental health issues undiagnosed, no one is listening

                        Sorry to hear about this its terrible I hope that She gets help and support.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: ex has long standing mental health issues undiagnosed, no one is listening

                          there is a couple of things I want to add to expand on the situation.

                          firstly, social services have been fair in their end positions, even though some of the information to start with was dodgy and there is a breach of code twice I know of with someone inside s.s. discussing this case. I feel they are at least open minded and haven't taken sides against me and have been fair. I don't want to get embroiled in conflict with them and want to be an open book to them.

                          secondly, I want to give two examples of the behaviour of my ex that has me so worried with regards to my son. I can't prove either of these things and have been told they will make me look like i'm making things up and trying to manipulate the process. as previously stated I've only mentioned things so far that I can evidence. be prepared as they are, I think, quite shocking and very worrying and explain well why I haven't been able to feel safe leaving my son with her for any prolonged period.

                          I have caught her having fed my son cream from a bun she was eating that she'd laced with salt, so she could eat her bun without having him hassle her.

                          I have come in to hear my son crying and gone up to the bathroom where, having bathed him she had pulled the plug out and left him to dry. he was shivering and crying and she was by the back door having a smoke. when I challenged her she just said it never did her any harm

                          it is for these reasons and for reasons like these I am so worried. I don't feel I can talk to anyone about them because it, I've been told, will just come across as malicious.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: ex has long standing mental health issues undiagnosed, no one is listening

                            firstly, social services have been fair in their end positions, even though some of the information to start with was dodgy and there is a breach of code twice I know of with someone inside s.s. discussing this case. I feel they are at least open minded and haven't taken sides against me and have been fair. I don't want to get embroiled in conflict with them and want to be an open book to them.
                            this is good .... SS are quite adept at picking up on things without any substance to their beliefs

                            secondly, I want to give two examples of the behaviour of my ex that has me so worried with regards to my son. I can't prove either of these things and have been told they will make me look like i'm making things up and trying to manipulate the process. as previously stated I've only mentioned things so far that I can evidence. be prepared as they are, I think, quite shocking and very worrying and explain well why I haven't been able to feel safe leaving my son with her for any prolonged period.
                            Who told you this??

                            We're here to help and advise you, ... anything you divulge will be taken as said


                            I have caught her having fed my son cream from a bun she was eating that she'd laced with salt, so she could eat her bun without having him hassle her.
                            has your son had any tests on his liver and kidneys?? Something like this (especially if it happened more than once) could actually have done some damage

                            I have come in to hear my son crying and gone up to the bathroom where, having bathed him she had pulled the plug out and left him to dry. he was shivering and crying and she was by the back door having a smoke. when I challenged her she just said it never did her any harm
                            the poor lad that must have been traumatic

                            it is for these reasons and for reasons like these I am so worried. I don't feel I can talk to anyone about them because it, I've been told, will just come across as malicious.
                            I can understand your reluctance ... but I think you should at least mention it. Your son needs to be protected at all costs!!
                            Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

                            It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

                            recte agens confido

                            ~~~~~

                            Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                            I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
                            But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

                            Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: ex has long standing mental health issues undiagnosed, no one is listening

                              Sounds horrible have you filed for legal proceedings to take custody of your son?.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: ex has long standing mental health issues undiagnosed, no one is listening

                                the people who advised not to make accusations were a friend who's been through the process and my brother. the first had told the truth to court about his ex's neglectful behaviour and the judge had dressed him down for making unsubstantiatable claims and my bro pretty much said the same. so nothing sinister in the people who told me. I have no evidence. the social worker I spoke to after the ruling only said I was to think very carefully before I made any accusations and that I should sleep on it.

                                she was using the salt to stop him hassling her. I don't think she has been poisoning him as in munch by proxy. he has a very healthy appetite and always has had. I think i would have noticed in his behaviour if this had been a pattern of hers and being caught nipped it in the bud but I cant know for sure as i wasn't always there.

                                when you say mention it, who do you think i should be mentioning it to?

                                Comment

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