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Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

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  • #16
    Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

    Hi all
    I have been to see my solicitor this afternoon

    Been over the options
    I have been 100% op[en about my youngest
    I have been told that the judge would not want to split them up
    The only big hurdle I have is the cost,
    so I am going to go for Mediation, first.
    But I am still not sure weather to keep my card close to my chest and just delay
    the going to court. and not do the mediation.

    Templer

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

      If that is the only way, then personally, I would say "go for it" ... If you refused mediation now, it might look bad for you if it ends up in court sometime in the future :tinysmile_hmm_t2:. Also, it will be better for you all in the long run if you try and sort it all out sooner rather than later.

      Are you on good terms with their mum?? Could you arrange a 'meeting' with her for a cuppa and chat?? If (between the pair of you) you could sort it out amicably WITHOUT getting tangled up in the legal system. You never know, she might just agree to you keeping them with you and her visiting every so often :tinysmile_grin_t:.

      Glad you are feeling more positive about things!!

      Kati
      Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

      It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

      recte agens confido

      ~~~~~

      Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

      I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
      But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

      Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

        Hi Templer

        I'm a little confused - I understood from your posts above that your wife has left and the children are all living with you?

        She has a new partner but hasn't shown any sign of wanting custody?

        What is the need for mediation - at present the children live with you (their legal father, including the non-biological one - you are their Dad) and your ex seems happy with that arrangement?

        Have I missed something - or is it just that you are thinking ahead as to what might happen in the future?:confused2:

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

          I think Templar was concerned about the future and wanted to know the options and that there was some security for the children.

          Discussing with the solicitor has hopefully set your mind at rest a bit, as you know where you stand now and what your options are in the future. I don't think you need to go to court (or mediation) as yet. Let the dust settle some, see how things go, and take care of the kids.
          #staysafestayhome

          Any support I provide is offered without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

          Received a Court Claim? Read >>>>> First Steps

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

            Yes, I didn't mean to muddy the waters, sorry.:hand:

            But as to the OP's original question - it is safe to say (isn't it?) that the OP is legally the father of all his children (including the one who may not be biologically his)?

            And that they all enjoy the same legal rights as regards UK nationality?

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

              Well if his name is on the birth certificate, and the biological father has no idea he has a child.
              Then to all intents and purposes, Templer is the legal father.
              I wish him all the best.........
              aw:
              “The only man who sticks closer to you in adversity more than a friend, is a creditor.”

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

                Originally posted by Johnboy007 View Post
                Well if his name is on the birth certificate, and the biological father has no idea he has a child.
                Then to all intents and purposes, Templer is the legal father.
                I wish him all the best.........
                aw:
                As do we all JB

                Just wanted to clarify, and allay the OP's anxieties, that his parental rights are exactly the same as they would be were the child biologically his and that any future arrangements are exactly the same as if all the peripheral issues raised above didn't exist.

                Ie the OP is in the same position legally as any other estranged husband/father in the UK who is the main carer for his children, should any dispute with his ex-wife arise.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

                  Hi all
                  Thank you for the responses
                  The fact of the mater is I want stability for the children.
                  They have had a very rough time in the last 20 months,
                  this is probably why they are less upset than my self.
                  My wife runs hot and cold.sometimes she wants to be involved sometimes not
                  No different to some other break ups
                  I have had confirmed tonight that she wants me out of the house I rent, so that she and her boyfriend can move in with the kids
                  She wants to punish me.
                  I have never tried to turn the children against he in fact the opposite,
                  She has lost a lot of friends over this, again not my doing,
                  She felt trapped at home only working weekends looking after the children in the week.
                  she earn t £30.00 a night in the restaurant, and the cab fair home after 12.00 was £15.00
                  so I accepted she stayed there until she caught a bus back in the morning.

                  two reasons I need to have a court order
                  1 the stability for the children ,
                  2 if she decides to go back to her home country with the children
                  they will have some sort of protection.

                  It is not about control as far as I am concerned it is about stability
                  it is not about me or my wife , as far as I am concerned it is about the children, some thing my wife does not seem to understand,may be it is her culture?
                  we are still under social services due to my wife's actions past and present

                  with my youngest I was worried about his immigration status, I have gladly found out this is not an issue.
                  As far as I am concerned and same for him I am his daddy

                  May be I worry to much,
                  I just want the best for the children weather it is with my wife or with me,
                  at the moment she is not in the right place her new boyfriend comes before the children.
                  and I am not saying this because of what has happened ,
                  I am happy for her if she is happy, but I would never have her back.
                  so we need to move forward and do what is best for the children.

                  Templer

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

                    ''I have had confirmed tonight that she wants me out of the house I rent, so that she and her boyfriend can move in with the kids''

                    Okay that changes the situation a little and mediation could be a good way forward.

                    With regards to your house. What's the situation with that and the tenancy ? Is it in joint names or just your name? Private rent or council/social ?
                    #staysafestayhome

                    Any support I provide is offered without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                    Received a Court Claim? Read >>>>> First Steps

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

                      Hi Amethyst
                      We live in private rent with joint tenancy
                      the tenancy runs out in 2 months time,

                      I am not to worried as my land lady is aware of the situation
                      as long as I keep up with the rent there will not be an issue

                      Templer

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

                        Hate to put a dampener on things but if you have put your name on the Birth Certificate KNOWING you cannot be the childs biological Father then you have committed perjury..

                        Under sec 4.1. of the Perjury Act 1911 an offence occurs:

                        "If any person wilfully makes any false answer to any question put to him by any registrar of births or deaths relating to the particulars required to be registered concerning any birth or death, or, wilfully gives to any such registrar any false information concerning any birth or death or the cause of any death; or wilfully makes any false certificate or declaration under or for the purposes of any Act relating to the registration of births or deaths, or, knowing any such certificate or declaration to be false, uses the same as true or gives or sends the same as true to any person" The maximum penalty for this is two years imprisonment if convicted by a crown court: a magistrates court can only impose a fine.


                        You can't just falsify a legal document because it suited you and your wife at the time..You are not the childs biological father and you knew this to be the case when the Birth Certificate was written.
                        Personally,,I think by perpetuating this lie you could be storing up a whole world of difficulties for the child in years to come.
                        I admire you for bringing up another mans child as your own but cannot,in all good conscience,agree that your name should be on the certificate

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

                          Must be a big Queue in the courts of men and women answering these charges

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

                            As Templer and the mother were married then he is legally presumed to be the father unless it is proven otherwise.

                            If the biological father wanted to he could do a DNA test to prove he is the father and then the birth certificate could be changed.

                            The answers on the thread have been with Templers current situation and wanting to protect the children, all of whom have been bought up as his own from birth.
                            #staysafestayhome

                            Any support I provide is offered without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                            Received a Court Claim? Read >>>>> First Steps

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

                              Originally posted by Templer View Post
                              I know he is not mine 2 words

                              Snip Snip
                              after my daughter was born
                              I have spoken to my doctor who carried out the op
                              and he is 90% sure the little one is not mine,
                              he was prepared to redo the tests free of charge.
                              And there is still the possibility of the youngest being Templer's biological child anyway - vasectomy as a form of birth control is not 100% effective (studies show that there is a generally agreed upon rate of late failure of about one in 2000 vasectomies— considerably better than tubal ligations for which the failure rate is one in every 200 to 300 cases) - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasectomy
                              The only way of ever knowing for certain would be to take a paternity test. Templer, as the father of the children has no need for this - he accepted parental responsibility for ALL of he kids and has the birth certificates to show it
                              :tinysmile_grin_t:
                              Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

                              It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

                              recte agens confido

                              ~~~~~

                              Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                              I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
                              But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

                              Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

                                Thanks for all your replies
                                To answer Grotsbags post
                                I put my name on my youngest child's birth certificate, because I felt then and still do think this was and is the right thing to do, It was also done with the consent of his Mother,
                                It may cause me problems in the future, but I will cross that bridge when it comes to it, if it does at all.

                                I will be going to mediation as this has to be done first, but I need to save the money first as it will cost me the best part of £800.00, something I just do not have at the moment.
                                hopefully things will settle down with my Wife and she will want to be involved more,

                                Templer

                                Comment

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