Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

[Templer]

Hi all
My wife walk out on myself and 3 children,
That part is not the biggest problem,
She does not seem to want regular contact with the children, only when she feels like it, and even missed our youngest sons 3rd birthday,
She spent time with her new partner at the Pub instead.
I will be seeking Parental responsibility through the courts at some point,
My main concern is that my youngest is not my child,
she admitted, to me that she had a one night stand and had fell pregnant, I said that I would stand by her and the baby, and bring the new arrival up as my own.
He has my Surname and I am on the birth certificate.
My wife is a foreign national from outside the EU
If she objects to me getting PR how will this affect my youngest, as to his immigration status.in the future
and where do I stand getting PR for all 3 children,?

I hope some can help as it is getting me down with worry.

Templer

[Kati]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

https://www.gov.uk/parental-rights-r...responsibility

Births registered in England and Wales

If the parents of a child are married when the child is born, or if they’ve jointly adopted a child, both have parental responsibility.
They both keep parental responsibility if they later divorce.

Unmarried parents
An unmarried father can only get legal responsibility for his child in 1 of 3 ways:
1, jointly registering the birth of the child with the mother (from 1 December 2003)
2, getting a parental responsibility agreement with the mother
3, getting a parental responsibility order from a court

Births registered in Scotland

A father has parental responsibility if he’s married to the mother when the child is conceived, or marries her at any point afterwards.

An unmarried father has parental responsibility if he’s named on the child’s birth certificate (from 4 May 2006).

Births registered in Northern Ireland

A father has parental responsibility if he’s married to the mother at the time of the child’s birth.

If a father marries the mother after the child’s birth, he has parental responsibility if he lives in Northern Ireland at the time of the marriage.

An unmarried father has parental responsibility if he’s named, or becomes named, on the child’s birth certificate (from 15 April 2002).

Births registered outside the UK

If a child is born overseas and comes to live in the UK, parental responsibility depends on the UK country they’re now living in.

If your name is on the birth certificate, then you already have parental responsibility You will no have to go to court to get it !!

Kati

[Amethyst]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Main thing is you do already have Parental Responsibility for all three of your children so you do not need to apply. Despite not being the father biologically you are named as father on the birth certificate, have parental responsibility, the child was born in the UK and you are presumably a UK National. There should not be any affect on the childs status to stay in the UK. What is your wife's current immigration status? How long ago did she leave the family home and will you be divorcing ? and how old is your eldest child ?

What are your reasons for wanting to gain Parental Responsibility ? If it is to have some security that the children can remain living with you in the future then you might want to look at a child arrangement order, which will determine where the children live and any contact with their mother (unfortunately you can't force her to want to see the children and although she doesn't have them as a priority right now that may change in the future )

[Templer]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Hi Kati
Thanks for your reply
That is a bit of weight off my shoulders.

With regards to our Youngest,
even though he is not my child, because my name is on the birth certificate he will be classed as my child,

What I am trying to avoid is the children being split up,
Since he was born she seemed to have pushed the other two away, They have been through so much in the last 20 months,They were in care for 10 months due to the wife, having mental heath issues and accidentally hurting our eldest.

I am also worried about his immigration status
I know he is ok if I am his father, but as I am not this may change things.
Sorry if I am rambling on my head is all over the place at the moment.

Templer

[Templer]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Thanks Amethyst
I think you have answered my last questions about my youngest.
The wife has indefinite leave to remain.
And yes I just want them to have some security and stability in there live, as I stated in my last post they have been through a lot.
I am a British subject ,
and I will eventually divorce, when I can afford to do so,
I think the children have taken it better than me. lol

Templer

[Kati]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Try not to worry too much ... It can't be good for you or the kids :tinysmile_grin_t:

Your name is on the birth certificate, YOU are a British citizen, your children are too !!

http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/...cy_question_12

This link should help answer most of your questions and put your mind at rest

Go give your kids a hug and spend some quality time with them :hug: :grouphug: It will all turn out fine!

Kati

[Amethyst]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Children are pretty resilient. Grown ups not so xx

It sounds like your wife has been through some major issues, and may still be dealing with them herself. When she has done she may want to resume proper contact with the children or even want them to go live with her. Your priority has to be the children, they need security, so you might want to have a chat with someone like CAFCASS or CAB, or a good family solicitor, about possibly applying for a child arrangement order for residency of the children and a simple contact arrangement for your wife.

[Johnboy007]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

There is one other point that no-one seems to have thought of......
The youngest child's biological father.
Do you know the father?
Does he know that he is the father?
If he does, would he try to see you, to sort out contact arrangements with the child?
Would this be acceptable to you as the 'adopted dad'.?
It is an issue that you need to think about, seeing as your name is on the birth certificate.

[Templer]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Thank you so much for your advise,
I hope she will want to have regular contact,
I stuck by her through the problems she has had,
I do not believe in pushing some one down when they have a problem,
We worked through this with the Social services and got the children back.
The reason she left was purely financial,
Whilst the children were in care it crippled me financially, and I am working my way back.
She wants her own time as she puts it, she has a new partner, this is after one month away,
I think this was planned as info is slowly coming my way what has been going on.
The children are my number 1 concern and always will be
Yes she may want to have the children at a later date, but we will have too see what is best for the children when that time comes.

Templer

[Templer]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Hi Johnboy007

The biological father has never been in the picture,
He has only known me as his Daddy, I could not bear to lose him.
I was told by my wife that he was from outside the EU,
Because both of the parents of my youngest are from outside the EU ,
this was one of my concerns with his citizenship

Templer

[Johnboy007]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Hi,
I have managed to dig up the following information for you

Under current law, [1] a child born in the UK after 1 January 1983 will only acquire British nationality if either his/her mother or father is:

• A British citizen; or
• Settled in the UK (i.e. has Indefinite Leave to Remain)

It used to be the case that only legitimate children could derive nationality from their (British) father, i.e. the father had to be married to mother in order to pass his nationality to the child. This is no longer the case following an amendment to the law which came into force on the 1st of July 2006 [2]. For more information see Question 10 ‘Does the child of an asylum seeker who has a British parent automatically acquire British citizenship?’
What does ‘settled in the UK’ mean?
'Settled' means ordinarily resident in the United Kingdom without being limited under the immigration laws as to how long the person can stay here.
Your name is on the birth certificate, so you are the father.


Notes
[1] British Nationality Act 1981, s. 1
[2] For the purposes of the 1981 Act, in relation to a child born on or after 1 July 2006 (see Nationality Immigration and Asylum Act 2002, s 9 (1) and s 162(5)) a child’s mother is the woman who gives birth to the child, and a child’s father is:

• (a) the husband, at the time of the child’s birth, of the woman who gives birth to the child: or
• (b) where a person is treated as the father of the child under the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act 1990 s. 28, that person: or
• (c) where neither (a) or (b) applies, any person who satisfied prescribed requirements as to proof of paternity (either named as the father in a birth certificate issued within one year of the date of the child’s birth, or satisfying the requirements under the British Nationality (Proof of Paternity) Regulations 2006

For children born before 1 July 2006, the relationship of father and child is taken to exist only between a man and any legitimate child born to him (a person is deemed legitimated by the marriage of her/his parents)
[3] British Nationality Act 1981, section 1(4)

I was merely stating that in the future, he may want contact with his son, if he is aware of having one.
Also, when your youngest finds out who his biological father is, he may want contact....

Have a look at the file below........
Good luck.

[Templer]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Thank you so much Johnboy007
this does put my mind a ease
My wife had indefinite leave to remain when he was born.
Yes I understand is biological father may want to know when he is older but if she told me correctly
then he does not know.
But who knows,
I have an appointment with a family law solicitor tomorrow,

I will keep this updated FYI

Thanks

Templer

[Johnboy007]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Thanks for the reply my friend..
One question?
Have you done a DNA test?
If it was just a 'one night stand', the child might just be yours.
Just a thought.

[Templer]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Hi John boy 007

I know he is not mine 2 words

Snip Snip
after my daughter was born
I have spoken to my doctor who carried out the op
and he is 90% sure the little one is not mine,
he was prepared to redo the tests free of charge.
I trust him 100%
Well on another note persuaded the wife to talk to the children on Face time
So that is a plus if she keeps to her word,


Templer

[Johnboy007]

Re: Advise My Wife has walked out on our family

Well, I don't thing you have anything to worry about.
It is obvious that you love your kids and bringing up another man's child, says a lot about what kind of man you are.
Good luck mate.
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