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Care & Assistance

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  • Care & Assistance

    Firstly, apologies if this is in the wrong area, I wasn't sure which it best fell under...
    I split up with my partner of 10 years a couple of years ago now. When I left, we had a son, (I have never restricted any kind of access and have actually always offered half of all holidays, extended weekends, xmas etc). We had a joint mortgage (we agreed that I would just take half of the equity after I left) and other than that, when we left we took nothing other than a few of my son's toys and a wardrobe as I just needed to get us out as fast as possible.

    During our time together, when my son was about 7 months old, my partner had a big motorbike accident which left him with two broken elbows and a broken leg, and in a wheelchair for several months. He needed constant care from myself for everything from carrying up and down stairs, feeding, taking him to the toilet, etc. He has spent the last 5 years fighting for compensation for this and i have helped with this by providing statements etc of everything which was needed at the time (including me taking extended maternity leave to care for him). He has now received his compensation although he will not give me any details about it. I have been told that although part of this payment is for care and assistance, he is not actually not under any obligation to offer me anything. I have received an email from him this week where he says that he is 'considering' whether to give me anything or not, but the tone of the email makes it quite clear that he is not going to give me anything. I would not actually mind this, but for the fact that when I left him, we had been using a credit card in my name (all financial matters, cards, purchases, cars etc were always in my name, which I now realise was a huge mistake!) which had a balance of almost £8000. This had been accumulated during my maternity leave, for food, bills etc and the extended leave I took to care for him after the accident.
    I have spent the last couple of years trying to clear the card balance but I was hoping that he would be good enough to send me some of the compensation to pay off his half but this is clearly not going to happen.

    Do I have any legal rights to anything at all in this situation?
    I'm assuming probably not


    Thank you
    Tags: None

  • #2
    Re: Care & Assistance

    Hi and to LegalBeagles..My brother did exactly the same thing to us (3 sisters).I did all the ferrying about to appointments,my eldest sister had him living with her for 6 months post operatively and my other sister did all his legal work. He got a HUGE award,,30k of which was for his care etc (10k each),,never seen a penny of it,none of us and now we don't communicate with him. I don't care but my sisters could have done with the money.None of us could afford legal fees so he's happily kept all the money but lost his family,,a high price I think.

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    • #3
      Re: Care & Assistance

      That's awful! I thought my ex was bad enough but to do it to family!?! At least you've not let it bother you too much. It's grating on me that it seems such an odd system?! Why would an insurance company need proof etc of everything that was done, to then not pay the right person?! Someone suggested small claims to me, but I'm not sure I'd want to give him the satisfaction any more tbh.

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      • #4
        Re: Care & Assistance

        Oh,,it bothered me,but he will answer to a higher Judge one day (him upstairs lol).Karma is a wonderful thing,,what goes round comes round etc.I couldn't give him the satisfaction of a court case etc,it just wasn't worth the hassle,plus I never want to see him again.Noone bothers with him anymore,he tries and fails to open lines of communication so he's the loser in the long run.

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        • #5
          Re: Care & Assistance

          He certainly is the bigger loser! I think mine annoys me so much because my son has had to miss out on some things while i've cleared his dad's debts for him, but he'll never know that (I don't want to bad mouth his dad), so he just thinks he's this brilliant 'splashes the cash about' bloke who gets him whatever he wants, and I'm the one who has to say no. oh well, my new years resolution is to move on and not let it bother me any more. I'd rather be the bigger person and pay my own way anyway

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          • #6
            Re: Care & Assistance

            One day,,in the not so distant future,your l'il fella will slowly start seeing through his Dad.Kids aren't as daft as we think they are but all the while his Dad is flash with cash he will be impressed (whilst he is young).Took years for my boy to see through his Dad,but he did,and now he barely bothers with him.Your day will come hun,,trust me,and you will be the better person by your silence (plus it's a bloody great feeling when your nipper acknowledges his dads failings,,pound notes don't buy love) xx

            Comment

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