McKenzie Friend needed . North West / Manchester /Blackburn

[Sarahjane111]

Re: McKenzie Friend needed . North West / Manchester /Blackburn

Well I lost my cool at the last hearing so I heed your warning i will be attending. I have prepared a statement outlining my concerns ,

Do I need to specifically ask for an adjournment ?

The Judge from the first hearing asked to have the case before him again ( we were to be transferred to a court closer to me ). He called his secretary while we were there to schedule the next hearing. He has specific knowledge and expertise in this area ( he represented families of abused autistic children ). At the second hearing he was ill and we went before another Judge . Now we have a third judge and moved court but its actually further away from me !

Can I ask to go before the first judge again ?

I am aware that contact is going to be re-instated and I want nothing more than my children to have a loving relationship with their Dad but i need to know that the right measures are in place .

He is not remorseful in anyway , if he was i would feel better about things but he just lies and lies and they just accept it.

I don't know if I have just been so battered by the system that I am just fighting for the sake of fighting now , I don't know if I should just let things go ahead and hope for the best.

thanks again

[Sarahjane111]

Re: McKenzie Friend needed . North West / Manchester /Blackburn

Do i even want finding of fact hearing or for him to be prosecuted ? all this is putting a massive strain on me I don't know how much more court i can take . Cafcass have said if he was prosecuted it would be an assault charge , i am assuming he would still get contact with the kids but would probably lose his job, which is then of course going to affect the kids

They have recommended he go on courses and has to get proof but I offered for him to get support from the very beginning ( 2 years ago ) so we could work things out and reinstate contact he point blank refused i tried everything I sent him the numbers , i even tried to get SS involved but he had to ask himself. He refused and just accused me of being malicious and vindictive., this is what he says in his statements as well.. no all these conversations were via email and i have submitted them as evidence in my original statement, but it doesn't seem to matter

He even told me about the assault via email .that's how i know about it !!! but now he says he lied and doesn't know why he said it

My son can not give evidence because of his disability , does this mean he does not deserve the same amount of protection as any other child ? surely children with special needs need more protection not less ?

[leclerc]

Re: McKenzie Friend needed . North West / Manchester /Blackburn

If he is charged and found guilty of assault to his child then I would suspect CAFCASS would not want any unsupervised contact with the father if he has been violent to one of his kids.

Apologies, I kinda skim read the posts and spotted NAS in there(they have a list of family law solicitors on their website as well).

If your son is autistic then does he qualify to have an advocate present with him in any interview with a CAFCASS solicitor? (and I mean a youth advocate).
To be blunt with you, some family law court do not know their ar$e from their elbow in regards to children with Autism so your frustration with them is perfectly understandable. You tell them from your experience and they think that they are god cos they did a course. Yet even the most basic thing about Autism is that no single child is the same as another and they just don't get it .



Here is the devil's advocate in me coming out: if the father is not prosecuted then you cannot protect your child. In terms of him losing his job, well, that is not your problem since your number 1 concern is to protect your child from abuse and to fulfill his potential as much as is possible for him to do so. If that means that the father provides less maintenance then so be it.

You have a bit of a catch 22 situation which only you can resolve.

I am not sure why you've stated that your child cannot give evidence because of his disability unless his communication skills is such that he cannot state what has happened to him. Plus there should be other evidence to corroborate the statements.

[Sarahjane111]

Re: McKenzie Friend needed . North West / Manchester /Blackburn

If he is charged and found guilty of assault to his child then I would suspect CAFCASS would not want any unsupervised contact with the father if he has been violent to one of his kids.

Apologies, I kinda skim read the posts and spotted NAS in there(they have a list of family law solicitors on their website as well).

If your son is autistic then does he qualify to have an advocate present with him in any interview with a CAFCASS solicitor? (and I mean a youth advocate).
To be blunt with you, some family law court do not know their ar$e from their elbow in regards to children with Autism so your frustration with them is perfectly understandable. You tell them from your experience and they think that they are god cos they did a course. Yet even the most basic thing about Autism is that no single child is the same as another and they just don't get it .



Here is the devil's advocate in me coming out: if the father is not prosecuted then you cannot protect your child. In terms of him losing his job, well, that is not your problem since your number 1 concern is to protect your child from abuse and to fulfill his potential as much as is possible for him to do so. If that means that the father provides less maintenance then so be it.

You have a bit of a catch 22 situation which only you can resolve.

I am not sure why you've stated that your child cannot give evidence because of his disability unless his communication skills is such that he cannot state what has happened to him. Plus there should be other evidence to corroborate the statements.

Hello ,

Thankyou for your response

My son has severe learning and communication difficulties , he is considered to be severely mentally impaired. At the time of the abuse ( 2 years ago ) he was pretty much non verbal . Although his development and communication have greatly improved over the last 2 years it is very difficult for him. As you say every child with autism is different , i can understand my son very well though and i know exactly what he is trying to tell me, i always have ..its heartbreaking to be honest

The Police and SS did not investigate , they refused !! stating the CPS would not except any evidence from him so case closed ! it seems you know about this ridicules scenario already. I fought this decision for 6 months but as he wasn't seeking contact at that time no body would help me ...i am talking the NSPCC, the NAS , SS , my MP literally no body !! all just pass the buck . I have raised all these issues but family court wont deal with it , i have been advised to go to the IPCC.

I had my hearing this morning it went better than I thought it would, Its my 3rd hearing but the first time i have actually had to vocally address the court ( i was awarded pro bono but no barrister could be found for me ). I impressed myself to be honest I managed to get my points across and handled it really well

The Judge had to acknowledge that no special measures had been but in place to asses my son for future contact and said that to his knowledge Cafcass have no such measures, basically children with special needs go trough the system exactly the same way as any other child !!

Same as the police have no special measures and SS, they just wont deal with it, its like. ''well if they cant actually complain about it there is no need for us to stop it '' .

Anyway the judge couldn't really offer a solution he was literally scratching his head and admitted he wasn't sure how to proceed . My biggest worry was that if contact was ordered i would be forced to make him go even if he refused .

He has ordered the contact be started but that if he refuses to go in it will be stopped and the situation reviewed at the next hearing. Basically the only way they can find out how he feels is by trying the contact !! but i am relived that he wont be forced in

I have also asked who will be supervising and assessing the contact if it goes forward. This is of course CAFCASS , who we have already established have no special measures to deal with the situation ...mind blowing !!

He has assured me that this is not the end of the matter he has put lots of things place in tbh and has accepted my request to go back to the original judge.

I could get an expert witness statement i have looked into it , but it costs so much !! the court have also warned me that if they are called as a witness i will have to pay for there time at court as well , i am going to look back into it though

If i had legal aid would this cover the cost of an expert witness ?

I am just going to have to see what happens at contact.

Thanks again for your advice

[Tools]

Re: McKenzie Friend needed . North West / Manchester /Blackburn

I had my hearing this morning it went better than I thought it would, Its my 3rd hearing but the first time i have actually had to vocally address the court ( i was awarded pro bono but no barrister could be found for me ). I impressed myself to be honest I managed to get my points across and handled it really well

The courts can sometimes be quite intimidating, especially if you have no previous experience of speaking there, it sounds like you managed to get across your key concerns and more importantly the Judge listened. Well done. I'm afraid all I can offer you is moral support, however, other members such as leclerc are more knowledgeable on these matters. I hope you manage to find some pro bono representation in the meantime and things work out for the best, keep pushing you will get there in the end.

[Sarahjane111]

Re: McKenzie Friend needed . North West / Manchester /Blackburn

The courts can sometimes be quite intimidating, especially if you have no previous experience of speaking there, it sounds like you managed to get across your key concerns and more importantly the Judge listened. Well done. I'm afraid all I can offer you is moral support, however, other members such as leclerc are more knowledgeable on these matters. I hope you manage to find some pro bono representation in the meantime and things work out for the best, keep pushing you will get there in the end.

Thankyou your support is appreciated

I could just be chasing paper tigers here , maybe contact will go ok and things can be sorted . I know that would be best for the kids in the long run. Our younger son really enjoys the skype and is looking forward to seeing him.

If he is as bad as I am worried he is with the kids then he will hopeful show it himself through contact . Nothing would make me happier than to find out I was wrong. Just got to try and keep a bit of a faith in the system

Thanks again

[SPQR]

Re: McKenzie Friend needed . North West / Manchester /Blackburn

I would recommend visiting the Personal Support Unit if you can (MissFM has mentioned them already): www.thepsu.org

There is one based at the Civil Justice Centre in Manchester (where the Family Court is held). They can accompany you into court and assist with forms and documents. Also there is free legal advice from a family solicitor at the Court in Manchester on Wednesdays.

Also because of the abuse that you're children have suffered you might be entitled to legal aid. To see if you qualify you would need to visit a legal aid solicitor (see below) with some evidence of abuse. This could include any correspondence you have from the police or social services, or a crime reference number. See the following link for information on what evidence you might have or be able to obtain: www.gov.uk/legal-aid/domestic-abuse-or-violence

To find a legal aid solicitor, try the following:

• http://find-legal-advice.justice.gov.uk/
• http://solicitors.lawsociety.org.uk/
• http://www.resolution.org.uk/findamember/